Now
by Tacitis
Summary: KB - RC     Kate wakes in his bed. What turn of events took her here?
1. Chapter 1

For the record, I never intended on falling for Castle.

As a rule I generally don't go for the smug, childish and overbearing type, but I guess something changed in me.

That's why I'm here this morning.

Something must have changed, because otherwise I wouldn't be curled up in his arms at five in the morning, watching him sleep.

**My first chapter.  
>This story is now finished and I thought I'd plug this video I made for the end of the story!<br>Please watch :)**

**.com/watch?v=AZBXS88m7Jw&list=HL1331471327&feature=mh_lolz **


	2. Chapter 2

I told Kate that I'd walk her home, but she told me she didn't want to be alone.

She told me she wanted someone to talk to, so I offered to make her dinner at mine.

I knew there was something on her mind the minute we left work.

Suddenly everything was quiet. It was like the case just disappeared and something else came to mind and took over her thoughts.

I know she gets so involved in work that she focuses on nothing else, so I guess that it was only after we stepped out of the elevators that things changed.

I made her dinner, I made her laugh, and I think I might have made her cry.


	3. Chapter 3

He looks deep in thought, even when sleeping. Maybe he's dreaming. It's hard to tell.

I like him like this. I like his when he looks like he's at peace, but at the same time I want him to wake. I want him to talk to me and tell me everything is ok. That we didn't make a bad decision.

His eyes are fluttering. Does that mean he's dreaming?

I lean towards him and kiss his eyelids gently.

He smells of cinnamon and warmth.

I think he's dreaming.


	4. Chapter 4

She didn't cry because I upset her. I don't think so, anyway.

She was curled up on my couch with her legs tucked underneath her.

When I was preparing dinner, she spoke of being shot and she spoke of her therapy.

She told me she was thankful for what happened.

She told me that because of it, something inside her changed and she was starting to accept that sense of adjustment.

Then I sat next to her. I tucked my legs beneath me too and I faced her and watched her as she told me how she felt ready to love. Ready to _be _loved.

So I did something bold and I took her hand in mine.

But then I saw a tear fall and I needed to help her.


	5. Chapter 5

He stirs in his sleep.

He's pulled me into his arms; my hair is buried in his chest.

I often wonder why it is we do this when we sleep. Why we reach for affection. How does our mind know who is sleeping next to us? It's like we're consciously but unconsciously making these decisions.

I can't think clearly.

This man, I think I'm in love with him.


	6. Chapter 6

I took her other hand and asked her what was wrong and more tears fell.

I pulled her close to me; her tears fell onto my shirt.

What's wrong, Kate.

I asked her and she looked up at me and told me that she fought it for so long.

So I asked her what it was she fought.

She didn't answer me.

She just leaned in close and I could smell her shampoo. Her hair tickled my nose and my mouth.

Her skin against mine was warm. It was glowing. Her eyes locked with mine and they looked sad.

But then she touched my jaw and pressed her soft lips upon mine. Only for a second.

Everything unraveled after that.


	7. Chapter 7

Last night I pulled apart everything I'd built.

I was cold and alone so I went to the home of a man I have feelings for.

A man that I want and I need.

A man whose feelings I have toyed with for years.

And when I needed comfort, he gave it to me.

And when I needed love he gave it to me.

He would give me everything in a heartbeat.

I know that.

I know exactly what effect I have on him.

I know that he loves me too.

- Thanks for the reviews. I feel nervous about this story. I hope you guys like it. (: 


	8. Chapter 8

After she kissed me she retreated.

I think her actions startled her.

They startled me.

So with my arms around her tiny waist, and her knee digging into my leg, I pulled her back in and I kissed her.

And then I stopped because my head started to spin and I thought that maybe, just _maybe _I was dreaming.

She kissed me again.

She kissed my lips and my neck and just above my brow.

And _that's _when the dynamic of everything we'd built started to change.


	9. Chapter 9

I wait a few minutes, however minutes feel like hours.

He doesn't move.

He is too content with his arms wrapped around me and his legs tangled in mine.

So, I unravel myself and climb silently out of his bed.

I am naked and I suddenly feel cold, so I reach for his shirt that lays lifelessly on the floor.

He smells of coffee beans and mint.

I wrap myself in his shirt.

It's too big for me, but it makes me feel comforted.

I watch him. I watch his every stir. I watch his eyelids flutter as he dreams.

(What does he dream about?)

I don't want to watch him anymore.

I want to be tangled in him, again.

I climb back into bed and his arms find my body.

He holds me in his sleep.

I really haven't thought this through.


	10. Chapter 10

She pulls back from the kiss again.

I wrap my arm around her neck and slowly lift us both from where we are sitting.

Standing, facing her, I cup her face and press my lips against hers.

She parts her lips and I part mine.

And suddenly the heat becomes unbearable.

I feel her body trembling.

My pulse, quickening.

I lift her up and she swings her legs around my hips.

I carry her to the hallway, pinning her between myself and the bedroom door.

She pulls back again, gently, and stares at me.

She pulls herself out of my arms, turns around and opens the door, blindly reaching for my hand and pulling me inside.

That night, she wasn't just Kate Beckett.

She was mine.


	11. Chapter 11

I panic. I start to panic.

Panic takes over my mind and body.

A million thoughts race in my head and I'm unsure how to deal with them.

What have I done? What have I done?

I have changed everything.

I have ruined our friendship.

I've lead to him think that we might be more than what we are.

I can't deal with this.

I can't deal with this at all.

I unwrap myself once again, and race out his bedroom door into the hallway, stripping myself of his shirt.

The shirt smelt to much like him.

I can't have him on my mind.

I pace through his house, thinking of exit strategies.

My eyes settle on the door that leads to his balcony.

I've never walked through that door.

I silently slide the door open and slip outside.

I close the door behind me and slide down it, wrapping my body in my arms, careful not to let myself be seen by city goers, this early Sunday morning.

I close my eyes, wishing I could take back the night.

What have I done?

**What are your thoughts? I've got a chapter or two more before the story finishes. Thanks for reading :)**


	12. Chapter 12

My eyes flutter open.

I'm alone.

I look at my watch, it's almost 6am.

I wonder where she is.

I want her next to me.

I want to hold her.

I feel like I was given something and had it taken from me too soon.

I climb out of bed and slip on my boxers.

The bedroom door is half open.

I step outside, closing the door behind me.

My shirt, presumably one she put on at some point in the night, is lying lifelessly on the wooden floor.

I pick it up (it smells like her).

I walk into my kitchen and I see her.

She's sitting against the door, her back bare.

Her arms wrapped around her chest.

I slide the door open and step outside.

I sit next to her, and she looks at me.

There are tears in her eyes.

(Why?)


	13. Chapter 13

He's sitting next to me.

I've only been sitting here for about ten minutes, and here he is.

"Why are you crying" he asks me.

His eyes are full on concern.

I look down, and wrap myself a little tighter within my arms.

He has my, sorry, his shirt, in his hand.

He looks at me and hands the shirt to me.

I slip it on.

"Don't you think we've made some sort of mistake?" I ask him.

"I don't. Kate, we're never going to _be_ a mistake."

"But at work, we can't…it's not professional.

And what will everyone think?

This isn't going to work out.

These things never do."

He puts an arm around me and brings me towards him, kissing my forehead.

"We don't have to… be anything. Nothing has to change. Not if you don't want it to. I mean, it'd kill me, but I can deal with it."

"I'm not…I'm not sure what I want."

It's true. I don't. I mean, I want him, but I don't know if I can be what he wants me to be. I don't think I can be open and I don't know if I can let myself be his completely.

His lips find mine, and he kisses me, and then he pulls me into a hug.

My lips feel swollen, and my heart hurts and my head is spinning and I want this. I want this feeling.

I want the butterflies.

I pull back and look at him.

"I want to try."

"You want to try?" he asks.

"I do. I think we should try. I think we could see if this could work."

I say the words, but I'm unsure. I'm always going to be unsure.

He looks at me, his eyes don't leave mine for a second.

I wait for him to respond.

He does.

"I think we should try, too."

I feel my smile spread.

He pulls me into a hug again, and we spend the early hours of the morning watching the sun rise.

END

**That's the end. My first ongoing story finished, I suppose. Thank you for those of you who read while I wrote. I'm not a very strong writer and I'm quite to new to this, but you've been really kind and I'm learning as I go :)**

**I sort of made this video. I've never made one before, but it's a Castle and Beckett video. If you have time, take a look :)**

.com/watch?v=AZBXS88m7Jw


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